Week 12

Three months! I can't believe I had the surgery THREE months ago. It feels like it's been ages, and once again, I'm so happy and relieved to be over with it. I'm definitely still healing and I'm still quite limited in what I can eat, but I've been over the worst of it for a while now.

Pain
Last week, I mentioned that my jaw was kind of throbbing at the end of the day after starting a more chew-intensive diet. I emailed my surgeon and he actually said that the throbbing meant that I needed to back off a bit and let my jaw heal. It was pretty frustrating, to be honest. For most of the week, I had to revert to a very soft, almost no-chew diet, and I did NOT want to go back. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty much nothing and I'm just being whiny, but it's so hard to go back to drinking smoothies for a main meal after diving back into the world of chewing. I felt like I was taking five steps back. I've since started chewing again, but I'm being more careful and trying to eat softer foods most of the day, and allowing myself a "chew-intensive" meal once a day instead of 2-3 times a day. It seems to be working so far. I'm also thinking I might do one day a week where I don't chew, just to let the bones heal a bit more from all the pressure.

The biggest frustration is that I had finally started feeling like my jaw was pretty strong, after weeks of thinking it was made of glass and being afraid of breaking it. I'd started feeling more confident and less "weak" as a result. When my surgeon told me that I needed to back off to let it heal, it definitely shattered that image. But I know that in a few months, all of this will be behind me for good. All we need is to hang on and let time do its thing.

Other than that, I still have some pain in the right joint when I open my mouth wide, but nothing else. I'll ask the surgeon when I see him next week. Some of my teeth are actually starting to touch on the right, so maybe it'll fix the problem. I'm seeing my orthodontist this Friday. I'm expecting pain and elastics... But then we'll be one step closer to removing the damn braces, so yay!

Swelling
Not much change on that front. Still learning to like my face, but similar to last week, it's much better than before.

However, I'm still struggling with acne, which is adding another layer to the list of reasons why I don't love my face right now... I know for sure that it was caused by the surgery, or maybe the post-surgery diet, but definitely something related to the surgery. I've never had so many pimples that are that deep and that take so long to go away, except in my teens. And I'm actually using tretinoin, so... I can't imagine how bad it would be without. I've looked around the Internet a few months ago and it seems like a lot of people complain of acne after surgery, even unrelated to the face, like breast augmentation surgery. It seems like it takes a while to go away too, so I'm trying to be patient. Sometimes it looks like it's about to clear, but then I get a whole new batch of the little suckers. Sigh...

Numbness
Still improving slowly, but definitely improving! I don't have any patch that is completely numb anymore, so it's looking pretty promising! It took SO long to get to that point though. So for anyone out there worrying about the numbness: don't. It took almost 3 months before I started noticing big changes! I knew it would take a while for it to come back, but I was so worried because I'd seen most people on blogs mentioning the pins and needles after only 6 weeks. It definitely wasn't my case.

Diet
As I explained above, I had to revert to a no-chew diet for half the week, which was disconcerting, to say the least. I had to get a new stock of bananas and milk for the Ensure-replacement shakes I used to drink, and I ate a lot of ice cream to drown my sorrows. Definitely not a healthy week, once again. I just can't wait to be able to chew most foods so I can go back to a healthier diet. I miss eating raw fruits and veggies when I want to snack. The easiest foods to eat right now are not the best for you. I know I could make a fruit smoothie, but honestly, I just can't stand smoothies anymore. I want to BITE into things, and feel like I'm eating foods with SUBSTANCE. Ugh. Patience, I know. Keyword and all. Overall, it's not making my life a living hell or anything, it's just a small annoyance.

I didn't take any pics of food this week because of

the setback, so here's a pic of my tea mug as a

consolation prize!

I bought a bunch of potatoes and carrots and I'm going to make a huge batch of mashed potatoes. I've been eating the pre-made mashed potatoes from Safeway because I'm honestly quite lazy, but I'd love a little variation with carrots, and maybe cream cheese mixed in. I'm sure it'll taste much better too. I found some Greek yogurt ranch dressing the other day, and it paired so well with mashed potatoes! I'm looking forward to that.

Fatigue
Not much difference to report, but honestly, I haven't been sleeping a lot these days. I'm realizing that I'm almost afraid of returning to my healthy sleeping habits in case it doesn't fix the fatigue. It's like as long as I'm tired for a reason (my period, not sleeping enough, etc.), I have hope that the surgery DID fix the problem, but as soon as I get rid of these extra factors, that's it. I'll know for sure if it did or not, and I'm terrified of finding out that it didn't. I really need to stop being so childish though, and get into a good nightly routine. Go to bed earlier, get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, etc. I'm due to test the iron next week, too, so we'll see!

That's pretty much it for this week. I'll try to find some time this weekend to update the photo section with new pictures. I'm also thinking of creating a section called "What I didn't expect" and have a list of random stuff that surprised me during the recovery, or things that I hadn't read about anywhere else. Hopefully I'll find some down time soon; work has been pretty intense these days.

Week 11

Much like last week, this week has been fairly uneventful, surgery-wise. My husband had a fever for 5 days, so I spent the week taking care of him and working. Thankfully, I did not get his flu! I guess my flu vaccine worked better than his. Thank god. I was really worried about the consequences of coughing/having a sinus infection after jaw surgery and septoplasty. It would have been an experience to relay to you guys in case it happens to one of you, but I'm very thankful I won't be the one suffering through it for your benefit 😄.


Pain
Since I tried a bunch of new, more "chew-intensive" foods this week, my jaw has felt more tired and a bit throbby after eating, but no real pain. Just some muscle fatigue. My left joint has also been hurting when I open my mouth up to a certain width. I've had that before on the right, at the very beginning of my chewing adventures, and it went away, so I'm hoping it'll do the same this time. It doesn't feel like it's anywhere near the cuts; definitely in the joint, so I'm trying not to worry about it. I'll bring it up with my surgeon when I see him. It only hurts when I open my mouth fairly wide anyway.

Swelling
I actually feel like there was a difference this week. It seems like the swelling around my jawline has decreased further, and my face feels more tapered and feminine. It might also be that I'm getting used to it and no longer see a deformed version of what I really look like in reality. Still doing better on the whole "liking my face" thing! It's starting to grow on me, and I'm much happier 😊.

It looks like my teeth are misaligned, but
I was half-talking when I quickly snapped the pic.
Oops!

Numbness
After weeks and weeks of almost no change, the numbness is improving at a rapid pace! I can now definitely feel it when something touches the numb area. The other day, I felt this weird coldness and pressure on my chin and realized that it was from a small dab of peanut butter. I felt it! I was elated. It seemed to improve over the week, too! Now the whole area feels a lot less stiff, more and more "alive". I asked my husband to move the tip of a pencil across the numb patch and I could always tell where it was, even with a light brush. It's definitely not a normal feeling yet. It feels more like... Hmm. It's hard to describe, but honestly the best way I can explain it is that weird trail that you create when you press your finger on an LCD monitor. It does a ripple of color distortion that radiates outward from the point of pressure, and that's exactly how it feels when I touch the numb area. I feel a tingling sensation that is bigger than the pressure point, and it lingers a bit when I move it, like a trail. I can also feel it when my husband kisses me, which is nice!

Diet
I was a lot more adventurous this week, since I was given the go ahead to eat chicken. I ate chicken (obviously), and everything went super well, so I took it a step further and tried some Cinnabon. When my husband felt better, he had a craving for it, and I thought "why not, it counts as 'soft bread' doesn't it?" It was a bit difficult to chew, not because it was hard, but because it's so doughy. I had to roll it around my mouth a lot more than other foods, so my jaw got tired, but it never hurt.

Definitely not a healthy week, food-wise...

The next day, I was craving donuts, so we went to Krispy Kreme. It was my first donut since the surgery, and boy, was it delicious. I got an original glaze and a lemon-filled glaze. Eating them was much easier than the Cinnabon, and tastier, too.

Fresh off the press!

Finally, I ended the week with a pizza! On week 9, when I was given the go ahead to eat chicken and "soft bread," we had friends over and ordered a cheese pizza. I thought I would be fine, but the crust was a little burnt and too hard for me to eat, so I had to scrape the toppings with a fork and eat that without the crust. But two weeks later, after ramping up the chewiness of my food, I thought I'd be able to try again. And this time, I got my favorite veggie pizza with all the trimmings, thinking I could just remove what I couldn't eat.

The other half was my husband's pizza. Pepperoni is too hard to chew!

I was iffy on the artichokes, thinking they might be too tough, but everything was actually just fine! I ate two slices without any problem at all. My jaw was once again tired, but no pain. I'm pretty happy! I hope I'm not overdoing it, but at the same time, it seems like every jaw surgery blogger I've read was able to eat whatever they wanted after 2 months, and I'm almost at 3 months. I feel like maybe my surgeon is being a little TOO conservative? I'm still following his directions to the best of my understanding. I definitely didn't eat anything hard or sticky or anything. All the stuff I ate is technically "soft"; no raw veggies or fruits, no nuts, no tough meat, etc. I did try a bite of deli ham and it was too tough to chew, so I spat it out. I feel like I can tell what is OK and what isn't, and I don't try to chew through it anyway if it seems above my capabilities. I'll wait until my surgeon is confident that I can do it. I just feel like it's not very clear what the surgeon wants or doesn't want me to eat. The indications are kinda vague. "Soft food", "chicken", "soft bread", "pasta". Is that really it? Just chicken with pasta and bread? What about tomatoes? Is that soft, or is the skin considered tough? What about mushrooms? They're kind of spongy, is it still OK? Is a thin pizza crust considered too hard if I don't eat the top part? I don't really want to text him every time I'm about to eat to ask if it's OK, so I try to follow my gut, but I'm still scared sometimes that I'm doing it wrong. I try to tell myself that at 3 months, my jaw isn't so fragile anymore and I'm already being pretty cautious...

I'm just really eager to get back to normal, I guess, and not have to worry about what to eat.

Fatigue
I'm still tired, but this week is my period, and I'm usually much more fatigued during that time of the month, so I'm not going to count it. My face does seem less pale than a few weeks ago, so maybe the iron problem is getting better. I'm supposed to test it again next week, so we'll see.

I guess once again I found a ton of stuff to talk about, even though it was an "uneventful" week... 😅

Week 10

Welcome to week 10, where finally, not much has happened and it's alright!

This blog post will probably be much shorter than the other ones. Although I've been known to say this and lie, so don't quote me on that.

This week was pretty uneventful, as I didn't have any appointments with any doctors. Still chugging along on trying to get my iron up. Still fatigued, but hopeful! It was a quieter week at work, and my husband was gone for most of it on a business trip. Unfortunately, he came home yesterday night with the flu; body aches, high fever, headache. The whole nine yards 😷.

I'm obviously scared about catching the flu, but I don't want to let him suffer alone, so I've been taking care of him and cuddling him, but washing my hands very often and not touching my face. Unfortunately, he has a bad habit of coughing without covering, no matter how much I ask him to cover, so I've definitely been exposed to the virus multiple times by now. We both had a flu shot (at the same time), so it looks like it wasn't good enough to save him, but he seems a bit better today. Hopefully it will at least shorten the duration/severity of the illness.

I keep wondering if it's possible to infect the healing bones if you get some sort of respiratory illness. The upper jaw cut looks like it's pretty much at the bottom of my sinuses, so it has me a bit worried. Then again, I'm 10 weeks post-op, so it shouldn't be that bad, right? I guess only time will tell.

Pain
I've had a few "zings" of pain here and there near the cuts on both my upper and lower jaws. They only last a quarter of a second, more like an acute pinch and they're gone. I'm thinking it's just the bones healing, kinda like when you have a scrape and it itches randomly under the scab while the skin reforms. There's no new swelling, redness or anything, so I'm confident it's not an infection. And the pain is so short-lived that I'm not worried for now.

Swelling
Not much change I think?

Although I'm noticing the "dents" where the surgeon made the cut a lot more. I guess it used to be more swollen there so they were hidden. It's supposed to fill up in a few months.

It's also been the first week where I haven't had one moment of "hating" my face. I'm very happy about this! I'm still not at the "loving my face" stage yet, but I'm just happy I'm no longer looking at myself in the mirror and thinking I look manly. Big improvement! I'm also a lot less self-conscious about people looking at my profile. Pre-surgery, I used to be embarrassed when I'd cross a road in front of a bunch of cars. I always figured they have nothing to look at but me, so they're probably sitting there, studying my profile. I'm sure they weren't, but I still felt uncomfortable about it. Now when the feeling creeps in, I remember that my profile looks pretty normal now, and I walk straighter and more confidently. It feels SO great!

Numbness
Getting better every week, but like I said before, extremely slowly. I can follow an object moving on the surface of the numb area, and I get lots of "zings" around the lip. Good signs!

Diet
Still haven't had a chance to eat chicken yet, mostly because I've been super lazy while my husband was gone. I mostly ate noodles, rice, mac & cheese. Stuff that's easy to make or zap in the microwave. I have no desire to cook when it's only for me. Tonight, I'll be making my chicken lemon soup to help with my husband's flu, and I'm planning on keeping the chicken pieces fairly big instead of shredding them to pieces like I've been doing since the surgery. I'm also eating untoasted white, soft bread with peanut butter and strawberry preserve in the morning. So delicious! Oh, and we ordered some dessert crêpes from Crepevine this afternoon. My husband was craving it. Whatever he's willing to eat right now, I'll get for him! He needs energy 😟. And well... it wasn't exactly a punishment for me either...

Got this pic from Yelp because I ate mine so fast,
I didn't have a chance to snap a picture.

I couldn't eat the edges though. They were too crispy.

Fatigue
Same, but once again, I had a couple of really bad nights (totally unrelated to the surgery), especially last night. I slept maybe 2 hours because I was worried about my husband's high fever, and he kept tossing and turning, poor guy. Another night, I went to bed at 10 pm and woke up at 1 am, unable to go back to sleep. That was weird. I can't help but think it's a good sign, as I would usually be able to fall asleep in a wink for 10-12 hours if I wanted to. Maybe it's a sign that I'm more rested, but the fatigue is caused by my iron problem? I feel like I've said something similar last week or the week before. I'm probably just rambling; what else is new? 😅

Week 9

Alright guys, here's an update on week 9! Lots of stuff happened, but there are tons of more positive news than last week, so hopefully I won't bum you out this time... Hah!

This week was my first orthodontist appointment, and it went swimmingly. The orthodontist was very impressed with the surgeon's work, especially in regards to my bite. Apparently, he hit a home run, because my bite is almost perfect. Teeth aren't touching at all on the left side, but he said the teeth will settle over time, and the rest will be easy to fix. Everything else is in the right spot, so yay! I'm excited to see how long this will take. Before the surgery, he said we will probably remove the braces 4-6 months after the surgery, so I'm hoping we'll be closer to the 4-month mark (I'm assuming it's actually 4-6 months after we resume the orthodontic treatment though).

He removed the surgery wire with the million hooks, and it felt AMAZING. I can now close my mouth without shredding my lips, and it just feels like I have less metal in my mouth, which is nice. It's also easier to brush my teeth now, and less food gets stuck everywhere. He replaced it with a very simple wire and told me to come back in a month. I think he just wants to let my teeth do whatever they want, and then see what needs to be tweaked. I'm happy about that, because it means no more bands at all, not even at night! I emailed my surgeon asking if he still wanted me to wear some, but he said "nope", so I'm FREE!

Then, I met with my doctor for a follow-up on my iron problem. He actually agreed that the low iron, even without a full-blown anemia (my hemoglobin is borderline normal), could cause fatigue, so he told me to keep taking the iron supplements and we'll re-test in 6 weeks. That's about how long it'll take minimum to see a difference, maybe more. Still crossing my fingers that this is the origin of my fatigue. My fingers are getting tired from so much crossing...

Finally, I met the surgeon this morning. He was very happy with everything, once again. He looked at the inside of my mouth very quickly, and told me, as always, that it was healing very well. He said the only thing left to do is wait to see if the fatigue will go away. I mentioned the low iron, and he almost looked as relieved as I was when I saw the blood test results. He said "oh yeah, for sure this can cause fatigue, and it will take a few months to fix, too." So he told me not to worry too much, just eat better, take the supplement, and take it easy until my iron stores build themselves up. He looked a lot more convinced that this might be the problem than my GP, but I don't know who to trust. I tend to want to trust the surgeon because he probably deals with low iron constantly, given the fact that his job is to cut people's face apart and bleed them out 😉.

He also "cleared" me to eat harder stuff, but he said "you can try chicken and soft bread", and I was like "THAT'S IT?" I didn't say that but... Yeah. It doesn't seem like it really opened up my choices that much, hah! He said I could start ramping up, but it'll probably take another couple of months before I can eat things like hamburgers, sandwiches, etc. I figured he means biting into a huge chunk of food, so I'll just start chewing things that are a little more chewy, yet not hard, as long as I cut them in small pieces before. So chicken, thin-crust pizza, tomatoes, mushrooms, fries, cooked potatoes, thin sandwiches with deli meat, etc. I'm still staying away from raw veggies and fruits. I really need to start making smoothies again though. I'm getting very little fruits and veggies in my diet right now...

I'm seeing my surgeon again in one month.

Now before I go into the list of weekly updates, I thought I'd direct you to my brand new Photos section. I uploaded a bunch of before and after pictures, as well as the swelling evolution. Right now, the pictures are up to week 8, and I'll update every month until I reach 1 year. Looking at them, not much has changed after all. I see a huge difference in my smile, and I'm very happy about it. Maybe my face shape didn't change much, but that's OK. A lot of the problems I had did get better, and I'm convinced I just need more time to learn to love my face.

Honestly, this week has been an easier on that front. I think the process has already started, so that's good. I got a message from a sweet member of the archwired.com forum who told me that he had the same issues with his friends not noticing any change, and how he disliked his face at first. He said after 12 weeks he started to like his new look, but still had doubts every once in a while, until the one-year mark. Words of encouragement for all of us! It was so nice of him to reach out 😊. The thing is, no matter how much you read about other people struggling with this, no matter how much you tell yourself that you'll be patient and you won't judge your face until it's all healed, it's so hard not to. I knew all of this going in, but I still struggle. It's nice to have a time frame, even though it'll be different for everyone. Now I know I should reserve my judgment until at the very least 12 weeks, and maybe more. So if you are struggling with similar thoughts right now, hang in there. It happens to SO MANY of us. And if you've read my entire blog, you'll know just how much of a roller coaster this surgery is on an emotional level. It's normal. It's hard to be patient, but it'll get better.

On to the updates!

Pain

Still no pain!

Swelling

When I press around my upper cheeks and on either side of my nose, it definitely feels swollen. There are still some pockets of puff around the middle of my cheeks (the "hamster" areas, as I call them). I'm excited to see what it will look like when it's all gone!

Numbness

Still improving noticeably! It feels weird whenever I touch any parts of the numb areas. I can feel hot and cold now, and I can absolutely tell if there's something touching because of the weird sensation it creates, as if my nerves get overstimulated (and this lingers even when whatever was touching is removed). Very happy about this! The only thing I can't feel is when I have a bit of water/food there, and when the touch is very very light. Still no painful shocks or anything like that. I mean, I get little electrical "zings" every once in a while, but it's not terribly annoying or painful. It honestly just makes me happy because it means the nerves are waking up.

Diet

Starting today, I'm hoping to incorporate more stuff. I kicked things off with a cheese pizza tonight. Sadly, the restaurant sort of burnt the underside of the crust a bit. Usually, it has a pretty soft, thin New York-style crust, but not this time (unlucky, yeah, but oh well, not a big deal). I just scraped the top and ate it, and I was a very very happy camper. I've been dreaming of pizza for a while. I also ate a bunch of white cheddar Cheez-It. I just let them melt in my mouth until they are soft enough to chew. It kind of helped with the chips craving!

Oh, and LOOK AT WHAT I ATE ON SUNDAY!

We went out to a restaurant for the first time since my surgery. I had amazing French toast stuffed with cream cheese and doused with maple syrup. It was heavenly. Everything was soft enough to eat without a problem, but I left the outer crust just in case, and didn't eat the strawberries. The bacon you see in the background was for my husband, of course, although I wish I could have bitten into one of these babies. Soon...

Fatigue

Same. Once again, see top of this post for more info.