Day 0 - Post-op

I woke up in the ICU, and to be honest, it wasn't bad at all!

I was really out of it, but I could BREATHE. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to and that I would start panicking. Even thought I had septoplasty on top of double jaw surgery, I could breathe a little through my nose, kinda like when you're sick and only one nostril is working. My teeth were banded shut, but I could breathe through about 3-4 teeth on the front that weren't too tightly shut together.

My view from the ICU.

I coughed a few times and it was very chesty and crackly, but it felt good to get it out. After a few coughs, it stopped being so phlegmy and all was well. There was definitely pain, but it wasn't excruciating. It was about a 6 out of 10. The nurse kept asking about my pain level, and she'd give me some IV painkiller, but it wasn't doing much. She said the surgeon was a bit stingy on the painkiller and she was only allowed to give me small increments. She apologized, but honestly it was fine. I was so loopy, the pain didn't register that much if I didn't think about it.

The surgeon came in and said everything went swimmingly. I didn't need a blood transfusion or a bone graft. The surgery lasted 3 hours instead of 4. And I didn't even have a catheter, so that was nice! He then told me not to talk. I'm actually not supposed to talk at all for the first 10-14 days, but I didn't have anything to write on yet (my husband wasn't there with my stuff when I woke up), so I just said a number to the nurse who asked about pain, and didn't need to say anything more.

I had an ice pack around jaw and a mask dispensing cool mist.

First post-op selfie.

My husband came in the ICU to greet me, and shortly after, I was wheeled to my room. I was sharing it with another girl, but I had the zone in the back near the window. Sadly, the window overlooked a giant building in construction, so nothing interesting to see out there. Not that I cared; I basically dozed on an off the entire day. The nurses would come in every once in a while to give me meds (antibiotics, painkiller, steroids, anti-nausea). I had brought a bunch of flash cards with what I thought would be common things I would need to communicated (hungry, pain, nausea, can't breathe, need to pee, thank you, etc.), but I only really used "need to pee" and "thank you". The nurses really loved those and they were all so happy when I showed them "thank you" so I definitely recommend bringing one of those! They also kept saying how good of an idea it was, but I couldn't really tell them I had stolen it from another blog... haha. What? I couldn't talk!

My husband using the "Need to Pee" flash card.

I used the "I need to pee" card SO MUCH though. I was pumped full of saline, which also had glucose apparently so that I wouldn't go too hungry. I had to used the restroom a lot, and the urge to pee would come on really suddenly. It was like "I'm good", and a few seconds later "Oh god I need to peeeee". The nurses were amazing and patient, and they'd come in quickly when I pressed the call button. They'd always have someone ask what I needed, but they said there was a sticker next to my name to let the dispatcher know that I couldn't talk. They had to ask anyway in case there was a nurse already in the room that could take care of my needs.

Going to pee was difficult on the first day. I was lightheaded and dizzy, but not nauseated at least. They wanted to monitor how much urine I was outputting, so the nurse had to put a little container on the toilet before I could go in, and then I'd have to wheel my IV in with me, hold on to the bar on the wall and sit. Be careful though, try not to bend forward. I did it a lot, and blood would come gushing out my nose. It's completely normal, probably even more for me because I had septoplasty for a deviated septum, but you're also most likely going to bleed if you get upper jaw surgery. The first time, I wasn't expecting it and a few big drops fell on the ground. I wanted to clean it up, but I was so weak. I pressed toilet paper to my nose and apologized to the nurse, but she said not to worry, that she'd clean it up. The few times after that, when I went to the bathroom, I prepared a wad of toilet paper because I'd inevitably bend forward and bit and it would happen again.

Another thing that kind of sucked about peeing is that I would start shaking when I'd get up to walk. I don't why exactly, probably a mix of side effects from anesthesia and lack of food or maybe it was kind of cold in the room and I didn't notice, but it wasn't fun because my teeth would start chattering and my jaw would hurt. Thankfully it would ease up when I laid back down.

They soon switched from using the IV to give me painkillers to using a syrup form. She'd give it to me through a syringe with a catheter tube slipped on the tip. It was a bit difficult to get the hang of it, but I became a pro at it pretty quickly. That's also how I drank water and juice, but I didn't drink too much on the first day. I just mainly sort of slept.

My buddies, the syringes.

Overall, surgery day was much easier than I thought. My main concerns before surgery were as follow:

• Vomiting: I did not vomit and barely felt nauseated. They were giving me zofran, so I'm sure that helped.
• Breathing: I read on other blogs that breathing was difficult because your nose is congested and your teeth are banded shut. I did not have any problems breathing when I was laying in bed. Walking around made me feel out of breath, but as soon as I laid back down, it was fine. It's possible that I had a few things going for me, namely a) I did not have a splint, so I could breathe in the small slits between my front teeth, and b) I already breathed mostly through my mouth before the surgery because of my deviated septum. I wonder if people who have trouble breathing just have trouble switching to mouth breathing? The cool mist machine might have also helped a lot at keeping the congestion down. Oh! They did give me a few shots of Afrin in each nostrils, maybe twice the day of the surgery, and another time the next day.
• Phlegm: They gave me a little suction thing like at the dentist. I had read on other blogs that you keep spitting and coughing up phlegm and blood, but that also didn't happen to me. I used the suction thing a few times but there wasn't much blood. I could feel that I was swallowing some blood dripping down from my nose, but it really wasn't bad or gross or anything. It was just like when I have a bad cold.
• Swallowing: Some people on other blogs had problems swallowing, maybe because the jaw is such in a different position that they have to relearn how to do it. Again, that wasn't a problem for me. It was a bit odd drinking from the syringe and it took a little getting used to, but I didn't choke or anything.
• Allergy: I'm allergic to two antibiotics, so I was afraid that we'd discover I'm allergic to a third right there in the hospital. Thankfully, that didn't happen. I was kind of itchy around my eyes and chest, but I think that was just a common side effect from steroids.
• Pain: The pain stayed around 5-6 out of 10, but it wasn't bad. It wasn't an acute, horrible pain. Just a lot of pressure and achiness in the jaw. Ice really did help, and I wish I had asked to change the ice pack more often. I would wait too long before asking for more. But the pain didn't really prevent me from dozing off or anything.

Speaking of dozing off, sleeping wasn't so great though. I was in and out of a light sleep where I was aware of my surroundings but had my eyes closed. It wasn't a big deal either though, but it definitely contributed to a lack of sleep that I still have today. I'll talk about it more in the next few posts.

One thing that was annoying is the IV. Whenever I'd have my arm a little bent for too long, it would start beeping, and then I'd have to call the nurse and ugh. I eventually learned to keep my arm straight but it was frustrating.

Swelling-wise, I was fairly swollen, but I didn't really "feel" it. I had some dried blood around my nose and mouth, so I'm glad I brought some make-up remover wipes to take care of that. The nurses had much more important stuff to do than clean up a bit of dry blood, so I was happy to do it on my own.

Swollen face, but not bad; my lips aren't comically big!

I was also lucky that the numbness is very localized. The only numb area on my face is half my lower lip down to my chin. That's it! I'm also numb all over my gums on the front and side save for the lower front part on the right. I'm also numb near the teeth on my palate, but the actual center of my palate is fine, and my tongue is fine.

Oh, unrelated to the surgery really, but I dropped my brand new Pixel phone from the bed to the floor and it fucked it up. It kept displaying a static/snow screen. I was so mad. It was such a small fall, too! I have to keep restarting it to clear it, but it eventually happens again a few hours later. Yeah, that sucked too because I was using it to communicate with my family and friends and let them know I was feeling ok. How unfortunate that it happens the day of my surgery, but honestly, that's the only bad thing that happened, so I really can't complain. I'll take my phone breaking over complications any day!

The surgeon came in to check on me during the evening. He said everything looked great and there was nothing to worry about, so yay! I had brought a bunch of movies, TV shows and music to keep me entertain, but I didn't even use any of it on the day of the surgery. I guess the meds were enough to keep my mind blissfully blank :P

Later on, the nurse encouraged me to take a quick walk. Again, I had the shakes and the teeth chattering so that wasn't fun, but it was manageable. I know I'd have to walk a few times to be released eventually, so I just tried to go for a quick walk down the corridor every other time I went to pee. It seemed to work pretty well. As the night went on, I was feeling stronger and stronger when I walked.

So the night went on pretty much like that, dozing off for 30 minutes, peeing, walking, repeat.

That's pretty much what I remember from day 0!

Day 0 - Pre-op

(I'm writing this a few days later because I was kinda loopy from all the drugs. I just want to make sure you're not too impressed that I can string words together effortlessly; don't except to be able to on day 0!)

I managed to sleep a good 2-3 hours, which is not too bad! We woke up at 4:30 am, had only enough time to clean up quickly, get dressed and get out the door. We arrived at the hospital on time and got checked-in.

The check-in process had many more steps than I expected. First, I signed in at the front desk, where they made me fill out a form and sign a few papers. Then, I had to wait about 10 minutes for one of the three available check-in staff there. They made me sign even more paperwork and put a band on each of my wrists. They said the doctors would decide which one to keep, but they actually kept both the entire time I was in the hospital. I guess it was easier that way.

The view from my pre-op room.

Once that was done, we waited another 15 minutes for a nurse to call us in. First, she had me take a urine sample (to check for pregnancy I'm guessing), and then she led me in a long, narrow area with two rows of small rooms. Each room had a rolling bed, a TV, and all the stuff you need for vitals and IVs. There were a few pre-op nurses with their own terminal in the middle of the area, taking care of multiple rooms around. I was introduced to my own pre-op nurse, who instructed me to change into a gown. Once I was set, he put on compression socks on my calves. They were electronic and pretty cool! When they turned them on, they'd periodically inflate with air, then deflate to massage my calves. The nurse also applied these weird large bandaids on my heels and on my tailbone. They were called Mepilex, and apparently they help prevent sores from being on the surgery table for so long? I don't know...

Shortly after, the anesthesiologist came in. He called me the night before to make sure I didn't have anything to eat after 10pm, and he sounded kinda weird on the phone. He actually said "greetings" in a serious tone. I was a bit wary of what kind of person he would turn out to be. I always figured it would be nice to have an anesthesiologist who is upbeat and funny and likeable like in a lot of blogs I've read. There's something reassuring about it, knowing that the person who is basically keeping you alive and tethered to the living world is full of joy and love and seem to like you. I'm probably overthinking it, but there you have it. So after the call yesterday, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but he turned out to be awesome. He was very calm, smiling and incredibly warm. We chatted a bit about where I came from and the weather, etc. He inserted the IV himself and I kid you not, I did not feel a thing. Truly a magic trick! He also introduced me to the nurse who would be in the operating room as well.

My surgeon came in for a few minutes to check on me, and then left, saying he'd see me soon in the operating room. My nerves were at an all-time high at that point, with so many people popping in and the realization that this was really happening. The anesthesiologist then gave me a small sedative. He said it would feel like I had a couple of glasses of wine, and it was pretty much spot on. It calmed me down at least, which was nice. Then, he started wheeling me towards the operating room.

There were about 2-3 other nurses in there. The surgeon greeted me again, and he had me transfer to the operating table. At that point, things start feeling fuzzy in my memory to be honest. I remember seeing a wall full of metal shelvings and supplies in front of me. The anesthesiologist then placed a breathing mask over my head and asked me to hold it there. And that's it.

No countdown, nothing! It was kind of nice to be honest. I didn't go through the whole anticipation of counting and knowing it was going to happen soon. I just drifted off peacefully.

T-1

This is it.

Tomorrow morning, after what I assume will be a very short nap (I have to be at the hospital by 5:30am, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to sleep with so much stress and anxiety), I will be on my way to the operating room, ready to have my face cut up in multiple places. Just another routine Wednesday right?

For the past year, I've been mentally preparing for this surgery by trying to supress it from my mind completely, or by binge reading every jaw surgery blogs I can find in order to gain the most information possible.

If you're reading this, I'm guessing you're currently in that particular phase. I hope this blog will help you as much as the other ones available out there. It should at least provide you with another point of view and a slightly different experience. I don't know about you, but I do feel better after reading day 0 to 30 from different people who went through the surgery. Because first: they're still alive, so yay? And second: they allow me to prepare for the worst, but also realize it's not always as bad as it seems.

During the last week, I've been gathering all the supplies I think I may need and stock piling everything on my counter. It looks like I'm ready for the apocalypse. I'm just missing the tent at this point. And maybe an axe.

Some of the supplies ready to go; lots more I didn't take pics of.

I've also been busy finishing up some work, warning my clients that I will be off for 3-4 weeks, preparing a cheat sheet for my husband, cleaning the apartment, etc., etc.

Today, we set up the mattress in the living room, ready for my return. I wanted it to be out of the bedroom because my husband has his computer in there and he's got one of those ultra loud keyboard. I'd like to be able to sleep whenever I want, so I figured that was the best idea. Plus, I've discovered that I tend to associate certain places with bad feelings, and I was thinking that if I set the bedroom in the living room, I can have all the bad feelings I want, and once I'm feeling better, getting everything back to normal should give me a good "break" from that moment of my life and allow me to officially return to my normal routine. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it does to me :P

I'm hoping the Christmas tree will cheer me up.

I know some people like to splurge on food and try to gain some weight before the surgery, but I didn't really do that. I let myself go a tiny bit more, eating my favorite foods (cheesecake, grilled cheese, pizza, etc.), but I didn't specifically try to gain some weight. I might regret it later, but I figured I should try to stay healthy-ish. I almost got a cold a few days ago and I was TERRIFIED that they would reschedule. Thankfully, I burned that sucker off with a neti pot rinse (it literally burned in my sinus for hours after, it was awful... but it worked).

My last meal tonight was also not exactly a high note. I've been busy all day and wasn't in the mood to go out to eat, so we just had Trader Joe's mac & cheese, frozen fish sticks and roasted carrots. I did say "healthy-ish", so don't judge.

Fancy last meal.

Anyways. I think I've rambled on enough.

I'll see you guys on the other side!