Week 6

I just came back from an appointment with my surgeon, and it wasn't... great.

I mean don't get me wrong, everything is still healing very nicely and it all looks great! But every time we meet, he asks me how my fatigue is (the reason why I did the surgery in the first place), and I tell him I'm still tired. And every time he gives me this look like "Uh..." as if puzzled by this. And he repeats that my airway is wide open now. The last few times, he did say that sometimes it can take up to 3 months to see a difference, but when I asked him again today, he said that normally, the majority of people will see a significant improvement by 6 weeks. He said there were a few cases where it took longer, but he basically hinted that it wasn't "normal."

I tried not to cry, but I just couldn't keep it in. He seemed to feel bad for me and told me not to lose hope, that there was still a chance that it would improve. He said I should focus on getting better for now, and we'll see what happens once everything has healed up completely.

I just feel defeated right now, and terrified that it didn't fix my problem. I knew going in that there was a chance the sleep apnea wasn't the root cause of my chronic fatigue, but I still had a lot of hope. The surgeon thought I'd have a 90% chance of fixing it with the surgery, so it was hard not to get excited. I know in the end it was still worth it to do the surgery. I still had sleep apnea, and it would only have worsened over time anyway. And I do have a much better profile now, so that's nice. But yeah, I'm scared and sad right now.

I'm still holding on to the hope that this fatigue may be caused by my thyroid issues. I'll go see my GP and ask for a TSH check as well as B12, vitamin D and iron, just in case. Who knows, maybe the surgery screwed up with some of these levels and all I need is more time for my body to readjust, or some extra supplements. I have to admit, I'm almost scared of going in case everything comes back normal. Then I won't have much room for hope.

Other than that, the surgeon looked in my mouth and said my bite looked great. He then said I will be on the soft diet for another month. Another slight disappointment; I had somehow thought it wouldn't take that long to gradually start eating harder stuff, but it's fine. There are a lot more foods I can eat than during the liquid diet, so I'll manage without any problems.

Another issue: he told me that in two weeks, I can "start" doing light exercises like opening my mouth. I turned red. I was like "uuuh... I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do jaw exercises". Last time we asked him if I'd need to do jaw exercises, he said that in his experience it wasn't necessary, and that everything would get stretched out naturally as I talk and chew. But my friend who went through the surgery a few years ago told me her jaw is stiff and she wished her surgeon had told her about exercises. I looked at other blogs and other surgeons recommended doing exercises at the 4-week mark, or around the time people start chewing, so that's why I did it. I asked my surgeon if I could have screwed something up. He didn't seem happy that I was stretching my jaw, but he said it doesn't look like I did anything bad. Honestly, I don't know how he can tell without an X-ray. Hopefully I didn't cause any stress on the bones or something. Ugh.

So moral of the story: It's not because you CAN that you're ALLOWED to! Make sure to ask your surgeon before doing anything you see on other blogs. Always get the official "OK".

I'm also going to go see a periodontist about the gum recession on the inside of my two bottom teeth. I've noticed that a lot of the bottom front teeth have an open space like a triangle between them, which means my gum recessed there too. It doesn't look like it recessed on the actual bottom of the teeth though, just on that one spot between two teeth on the inside, and between each tooth in that small "triangle" spot. Hopefully it's not too bad and I won't need a gum graft...

Speaking of gums, now that my lips are a lot more mobile, I've noticed that I show more gum again when I'm laughing. I'm a little disappointed, but it's still so much better than before. For comparison, here are pics of me laughing and smiling pre-op vs. post-op:

Smile | Before and after

Laugh | Before and after

[Edit from the future: I don't look like that when I laugh anymore. My upper lip was still very stiff and thin. It looks much better now, at the one-year mark!]

Now onto the more positive things...

Pain

The cramps in my jaw joints have almost completely disappeared. It happens very rarely, only at night and only in certain positions.

Swelling

My surgeon says I still have some swelling on either side of my nose and on either side of my chin, but I don't see it that much. Here's how it looks now:

Numbness

Still numb in half of my bottom lip down my chin. I am starting to feel my gums though, which is good, although it also means I'm getting more annoying shock-like pains when I brush with an electric toothbrush. It's like it's too much for my nerves, or maybe it's the gum recession. I can't quite feel them fully yet though, but I can feel a prick when I push my nail on them, so I know it's coming back. Still getting random twitches and very very light burning sensation in the lip/chin, but nothing much.

Diet

Chewing is getting better and better every day! My right jaw joint is getting better; less pops and crunches when I chew, and almost no pain. I have a lot more lateral movements, but I've also been doing jaw exercises for this, so hopefully I didn't screw anything up even though it gave me more flexibility. My diet is a lot more varied than before: oatmeal, canned ravioli, Reese's peanut butter cup that I let melt in my mouth, tiny pieces of very tender chicken, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, etc. I still need to find other recipes I can chew if I'm going to keep this up for another month.

Fatigue

As I mentioned above, I'm still fatigued. I need to take a nap every day; I feel extremely sleepy in the afternoon, and just generally tired during the day. I'll update on the blood tests when I get them. Crossing my fingers that this fatigue will get better with time.

Also, I know I said I would make a midweek post about different things I wanted to mention, but this week has been crazy work-wise (maybe it contributes to the fatigue?), so I'll have to delay that post to next week if I can. I'll try to squeeze it in soon.