Day 31

Today is the second day that I woke up feeling like my uvula is kind of swollen, which is weird and annoying. I don't know if it's actually because it was numb and I didn't know, and it's now waking up, but I'm acutely aware of my uvula and I don't like it. At first I thought I might be getting a cold, but I have no other symptoms.

I didn't sleep more than 5 or 6 hours last night because I had a baby shower brunch in the morning and it was stressing me out. I'm not fond of baby showers to begin with, but having to attend one at a restaurant feels worse. I knew I would have to  sit there and feel awkward while everyone else is eating, get that look from the waiter when I say I only want a glass of water, etc. Ugh. I kind of wanted to just not go. But anyways, I woke up on time and got ready, and attended the brunch. It was too bad, but I definitely didn't enjoy myself as much as I would have if I had been able to speak clearly and chew. I ordered a lemonade and sure enough, the waiter was like "So... nothing to eat?" and I just said "no, I can't eat" and he gave me a sideways glance and moved on to the next person. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say, if anything. I know it's none of their business, but I still feel the need to explain myself while not wanting to explain anything. I'd rather just stay away from restaurants until I can actually eat :P

The worst thing is that there was a mirror on the wall right in front of me where some of my friends were sitting, so I kept catching glimpses of my face and getting that "woah that's not my face" feeling whenever I'd see it. I was constantly watching myself, being surprised by how much I looked different in ways I don't notice when I actually stare in the mirror. Since I was moving normally and talking and all that stuff, there are movements I hadn't seen since before the surgery, if that makes sense, and they looked foreign on my face. It was weird. Hopefully my friends didn't notice that I kept looking at myself haha. How vain would that be?!

Although to be honest, I'm still really obsessed with my jawline (when it's not disappearing mysteriously). Here's a comparison before and after surgery:

As you can see, I still have to strain to close my lips together
and my chin is still a bit "weak", but the profile is one
million times better than before!

I ended up hanging out with my friends for a good 4 hours, and when I came home, I was completely exhausted. I still managed to make dinner before I crashed on the couch. We were supposed to attend a little get together with friends to celebrate the New Year, but I decided to skip it. I spent the evening playing games in my PJ's and relaxing, which was nice. I'm sad that I didn't get to hang out with friends and ring in the new year, but I probably would have been too cranky to enjoy it anyway.

I did remove my bands when I came home though! My muscles were sore for the first hour or so, and I didn't know where to put my bottom jaw. If I relaxed it, my mouth just hang completely open, but if I tried to keep it sort of closed but not clenching, the muscles were strained a bit. They must be atrophied from not moving at all for a month. Eventually it got a bit better though and I forgot that I wasn't wearing bands.

Tomorrow, I'll try chewing for the first time. Wish me luck!